2011: the end.

I wrote this postcard weeks ago. It took awhile to find it again in the stack of papers andmiscellaneous "important" things.

In the month since 2012 began I have spent a lot of time thinking about the way in which I was able to document 2011. I have begun compiling the images and formatting them into a book to be printed. Indecisive as ever, I have gone back and forth about font styles and sizes, which pictures to include to accompany cards that were sent in from friends. How to open the book, what to say to sum it all up before the first page is turned. It's been an overwhelming process, but I seriously cannot wait for all the details to be decided and the book completed, printed in my hands.

I think what I have loved as I have been able to sort through the layout has been the opportunity to scan through the beginning of the project and reflect on it as it took off. In the beginning I had no idea how many people would be reading it- the hits continued and reached further out of my circle of friends. I didn't know how many friends would submit, from where in the world, or from what corner of my heart. There was a lot I wasn't sure.

But I was committed to seeing the year through. Sometimes more easily then others, but I said it all. I explained what I was learning, and was able to flesh out somethings that were difficult to say. I scribbled down priceless advice that I have since carried tightly in my grasp. Some of the cards were reflections on adventures and travels abroad that continue to come up in my heart as I am able to remember and be grateful for several stamps in my passport.

Mostly. They are about Jesus. Holding me closely through people moving in and out of my house as a safe place to rest. His guidance as I pursued His plan, and movement of me to Winston Salem. His love when I wasn't sure where else I could find unassuming affection. His provision in people, to love me much, well, often, and always.

This postcard wraps up 2011. It took awhile to find it, but the timing was perfect. I was able to think and reflect before this last word post on all that was last year.

I'm grateful.

Never once have I wished that my heart and my journey led anywhere different, to any part or version of me different.

I am here. Now.

And I love this life, this place, and season.

But above all of those things.

Jesus. And the work He continues to do in my aching for His touch heart.

To Sum it Up:

MOST Frequent Contributor: Seth hands down.

Had something like 9- that's almost 1 a month!

Matty and Ash Ham were closely tied.

Furthest Traveled Postcard: Meghan in Nepal

Most Random: Katie Raymond with an ERMS picture

Favorite Artistic Contribution: Abernathy Bland

City Double Entry: San Francisco from both Theresa (Sept), and Tex (July)

Last postcard. A project spanned 2011.

This has been the most difficult one out of this entire project. I am grateful and overwhelmed by the range of participation and contributions from nearly every significant person in my life- and then the special treats that came unexpectedly but at the most perfect time. I have favorites that make me smile- and I have others that resonate so deeply in my heart as a marker in time. A snapshot into a lesson I was learning- Grace I was experiencing.... trial I was overcoming or glow for which I was basking. Thankful for friends that wrote often and for cards from distant lands. This project turned into something more special then it was originally intended. Many things were shared and documented on sometimes small cards, bigger pictures, and even a coconut. Thank you to everyone who contributed to 2011's project! My words fail my love and gratitude.

Last postcard. Done.

Love.Love.

me

last week of december 2011

1. On Tuesday nights Kim and I have been meeting for dinner. It's been great to share and talk about life on a regular basis. The conversations range but I am thankful.

2. I have had some peaceful and productive mornings with Gracie and coffee. She has continued to be my shadow and I have enjoyed the time before work to catch up on things in the house while being quiet also in preparation of the evening.

3. I took a surprise road trip to Roanoke- which brought unexpected things on my way. A good long chat with Erin, just a truly good conversation that helped me talk about with hindsight the dB transition and the things I learned. Then of course Matty being admitted into UVA. goodness.gracious.

4. I loved seeing T and getting a quick snapshot of what life looks like for her.

5. A solid real and vulnerable conversation with Holmes. Sometimes he just takes me completely by surprise. It's the Best.

6. Knowing peacefully and quietly that Lexington is not home- and I am meant to be in Winston. How amazing that is. Lexington hadn't felt like home in a long time- and with the benefit to have begun to gain perspective since moving, I was more prepared for what it was going to feel like going back. Its hard to remember conversations in certain Waffle House booths. Promises made. Laughter and love shared. Yet- I was most thankful that there were no ghosts. No fragmented images of a time/person/experience now passed. Just peace. That was a long and exhausting battle but I am thankful for prayer and perseverance.

7. Very excited for Seth to visit on Sunday. It's been a long time waiting. ;)

Friends. To. Siblings.

Matty and I at somepoint in the past 8 years or so have made the quiet shift from friends to siblings. I was made more of this 2 years ago when a hot August day brought an unexpected and difficult obstacle in his health. I sit here with him @ UVA while tests are being run to determine the course of treatment. On Thursday I was in the car en route to Roanoke to listen to 2 voicemail messages- the first from Matt updating me on the day and his journey to UVA. I didn't cry and I didn't suppress my fears and questions. I remained quiet and confident in the Lord's timing which to be in VA already scheduled was amazing and was completely peaceful. The days and hours following that have been consistent- true and profound trust and love in Jesus and for this brother whom I so grateful to know, trust, and share life with. I do not know the path , but I know that it is with Jesus and it will be good in a lot of ways. 2 years later I am amazed at how different I am- and we are. And that is because we were carried through that scary time holding onto the promises in Christ. I have been made stronger and more peaceful because of that. And I am so grateful to have not let that lesson go.

Funny Jesus in The Radio:

1. you raise me up. (twice)

2. starry night (twice)

3. black hour and cherry tree (four!)

4. come back to me (three)

At which point I turned XM off and listened to Christmas music. That was the safest bet.

a decorated tree.

A decorated Christmas tree in my house looks foreign and out of place if you know the story. But you are just meeting me or in the other sense know me incredibly well- you will think it looks completely at home. I know that sounds weird but I know it makes sense in some strange and weird poignant way. Christmas this year was different than every Christmas before it. There were things that highlighted some tender spaces and then also noted areas and places of triumph in growth and gratitude. I was thankful to worship with my Salem Chapel Family and to spend the morning focused on Jesus. Only Him. Not adding anything to the miracle- not a gift, cookie, or santa claus hat. Just Jesus. A baby. A Man. Completely and totally God. How amazing.

boston: brother

love this man.

Kari,

Meghan and I are getting a day or two in Boston ; getting away from the hub bub of family time. It's really warm here, too warm for almost January! Hope all is well with you, looking forward to meeting up again once 2012 rolls around.

Much Love,

Bill

Georgia: Ashley BFF

I met Ashley when she was an intern at Washington Family Ranch. Some people you just instantly click with and "get". She is definitely one of those girls. I instantly loved hearing about her life there in Oregon, what plans she hoped for in the future- her terrible time missing sweet tea and chik fil a. She was open and honest, which at the time I needed so much as I navigated myself through a difficult and really hard time. A bright spot she was. And I'm thankful that after a season now finished, and a life continuing to progress forward that this sweet friend, that lovingly referred to us as BFF's is still part of my life.

As midnight approached on New Years Eve, Ashley wrote me a message asking if it was too late to send a postcard in, as she had thought about the project all year. I laughed, and of course she could send a postcard in. It would count. The exception would be made. For her. When it arrived, I took a few moments to think about the journey I was on that led me to WFR, and those visits at camp. I hardly recognize the person that I have matured and grown into, in comparison to that manic and emotionally charged girl. I am thankful that through the difficulty, and layers of grief that I was trying so hard to bury- that Ashley still thought I was fun to talk to and be around. What a blessing that was.

We live closer to each other now that I live in Winston. We will be reuniting this summer. I just know it.

Thankful for her, and this postcard. It was a very special moment to pull out a ray of sunshine that was born when so much felt uncertain and true. To reflect and rejoice on the work that the Lord does in our hearts and lives as we continue to cling to His promises and love.

a new york morning.

I kicked off the Christmas season with a trip to NYC. I arrived back to Winston exhausted. I am not sure I ever got caught up but I do remember very clearly how I felt this one particular morning before my family arrived. I was quiet and I was reflective. Able to participate and enjoy the morning alone in a place I have so many memories tied too. While in Times Square a lady offered to snap my picture. I happily handed my camera over, and now I'm so grateful that I did. Because in all the stress and chaos it was encouraging to look back at this photo and morning appreciating the time to be alone to explore my heart and thoughts with a familiar background and territory.

gracie came too.

The best part about moving to Winston?

That Gracie got to come with.

She's anticipating the transition of welcoming Bruce home to stay.

Things are being rearranged and boxes have been taken out of closets.

I keep telling her that we aren't moving right now.

Calm Down.

Soon. Bruce and Krystal will arrive. The safe place continues.

(lost)

Postcards that complete 2011 are coming.

Seriously.

I promise that they are.

Just. Having. Some difficulty remembering where they are.

(sigh)